I have 2 baby girls, and never imagined I would have even one child. I am thrilled to be a part of who they are now and what they will soon become. But truth be told... With both babygirls I was very disappointed to find that I wouldn't be carrying a son. Disappointed is the wrong word. I was heartbroken.
Sounds dramatic huh? Well not as dramatic as my "Guess What She's Having" party that my sister threw for me back in 2007. There I was, 7 months pregnant. One of my best girlfriends gave me an ultrasound at her office and swore herself to secrecy. She knew the essence of the energy inside of me and she kept it to herself. We had the party, donned everyone with a nametag on which they stated a name to indicate what their guess was.. Everyone thought "boy. boy. BOY!" And the nametags ranged from Jason to Mahatu. So as we were opening gifts for the mommy to be-- me.. The last gift was the bear with the gender inside it. I open it up with so much excitemeeeennnnttt!!! Then burst into tears in the most awkward moment in weird party energy history! It was awful! As everyone enjoyed fine deserts and wine, champagne, and sparkling water, I sat in my tears with 5 people trying to comfort me, holding a box of tissues. I just knew I was having a boy.. I mean, my skin looked beautiful. I gained a total of 9 lbs thru the entire pregnancy, so during that time i must've put on about 3 or so...i craved sweets and cake.. not pickles and salt like my first pregnancy... Sigh. S'vaan had another plan. (S'vaan by the way was the name I chose for my son.. But decided to name my babygirl after taking one look at her..)
Well here I am, 2 years later and 5 days late. No sign of my period in sight. Of course, I know now is not reeeeaaallly the perfect "time" to plan children for my personal circumstances.. But my son, I gotta have him. Smell him. See him. I envision my little cool revolutionary daddy being the sweetest, calmest little boy. He will love his mommy, protect his sisters and help his daddy. Its so real, I can feel it. And if I wait any longer, I will have a baby high school aged and an elementary school aged baby. I don't want that at all.
So i run to my local grocery store. Buy an early result test and in eager expectation, pee on the stick.. To find that I may or may not have another shot at meeting my Prince.
The result?? Guess you'll have to follow my new posts and continue to peek in my glass house to find out. ;)
